I just need a listenin’ ear and some BRAINS

My typical study snack.

I don’t know what has gotten into me this semester. There is no words to describe how lost and clueless I am with my studies now. I hate maths. I hate numbers. This is the 17825411 times I’m saying this and I won’t stop saying it until I graduate. Sometimes, I just regret agreeing with my dad that 1) Yes, people who do business always seem more successful and “smarter” 2) mass communication was useless and had to compromise with him to do a business degree. I would have been so much happier writing now and reading. I wouldn’t ‘look’ so ‘stupid’ in class like I do right now. I have to depend on my classmates to feed me with information – You know how much I freaking hate that???!?!?!

Sigh I’m damn stressed up now. Exams are in 3 days. I am full of shit. ZZZZZZ URGH. WHY CAN’T I JUST WRITE AND READ FOR MY CAREER?!?!?! WHY! – OH Because I don’t have anyone I know in that industry who can pull strings with or maybe just because I’m not one of the best writers/readers in Singapore. Sigh. I’m an introvert, not knowing anyone useful in this world who can help me get my way in life. I have to start from fresh, searching for something I can do to prove I’m useful to this society. This world is too freaking competitive, it’s killing me inside. If I can instantly get my dream job, editor of a magazine or just write for an online site, I will not have to do this accounting//stats and feel so stupidz. I really really hate what I’m doing now. Period.

Back to studying tomorrow again aka feeling stupid.

Goodnight for now. Cannot wait to cut my hair tomorrow morning and read ‘The Hunger Games’. Life sucks. I got no motivation or happy pill around which makes life doubly sucky. Not making sense, ha ha. BYEZZZZzzzzzz.

Mood: Depressed, Stressed, Lost, Hopeless, Useless.

xx

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