16.11.12 / mission size-me-down

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day 1 of vicky’s size-me-down-for-kaching…. is over!

I’ve been feeling nothing good this month. nothing but stress, helpless and useless. partly are my finances, no more sunny days but rainy days are here. i’ve decided to start my own savings account. well, this can’t contribute to any house/wedding fund but its the least I can do to keep myself going without allowance (yea the day has come… i quit taking allowance from my parents due to some personal reasons) honestly i think it’s harder for me to study full-time and try to support my bills and necessity by working part-time when my job only gives me 2 days/week max. for some, studying part-time and working a full-time job is easier. i have too much on my mind that i do not know what’s the right thing to do.

i was excited for november. was. now I feel that there is actually nothing exciting at all. birthday was nothing great (thou I rly appreciate W for the nice staycation at studio m!!) we were planning for a holiday trip to taiwan or hk but i think i don’t wanna go for any, now with all that financial burden.. i wouldnt be able to enjoy & shop with a peace of mind. i’m suffocating. it’s disgusting.

was sorting out my finances and wondering where all of them went to… ok I do shop once in awhile when I feel sad and need a perk-me-up. i mean, i’m a girl so that’s normal right? so sacrifices are sacrifices. i’m gna quit shopping for a month or two, till 2013 and see how my finances go. but i don’t shop excessively so where else did my money run to? food.

my best friend, comforter, cheer-me-up, perkmetoo, my happy pill, myevery1hour……. (the list goes on) yes, food is my everything. i spend a lot on eating and i can’t stop eating that’s why. when I’m sad, i eat. happy, eat. angry, eat. stress, eat. sleepy, eat. bored, eat. nothing to do, eat. eat, eat, eat! all I do is, eat.

so the reason I call it size-me-down-for-kaching is simply, to cut down on my food expenses in order to have more grass for me to water. no, its not a diet plan. i still eat, but i eat lesser (only feast at home!) at the same time, it might do me good in shedding some pounds. this is a challenge. i was dying of temptation to buy some food or a meal at work today, and ended up giving in to temptation at the last hour, for a $1.20 bread ice cream when the motorcycle ice cream uncle drove along haji lane. sigh. I finally understand why some people save on the small pennies when it is claimed foolish: cos’ they do not even have pounds to save on.

tomorrow is day 2, keeping my fingers crossed. so hungry just thinking about tomorrow already. so, I quit shopping + snacking… that’s like the end of my world. i have to forsake parties on some occasion and miss all the fun… i’m not even adding partying to my list. (what has my world become?!?!!!) my only greatest cash value left is a $1000 note that my dad left me to pay off my driving lessons. can’t use it, i GOTTA take my license ASAP!

sigh sigh sigh. i hate my life now. it feels like primary school all over again when I was so happy to find 10cents on the floor cos i can buy one fish ball on a tooth pick; cos im known as ‘bread-queen’ back then when i only have bread to eat during recess when everybody else gets to drink hot soup on a cold rainy day. in secondary school, i save up on my recess just so that i can have fun with my friends after school and take neoprints or watch a chick flick.

de jà vu indeed. it’s alright, i can do this!
i can do this cos God says there ain’t no rock He can’t move.
I pray God hears my prayers and help me carry this 98742467kg rock. nope, it shouldn’t be heavy cos there is a number to it. it isn’t infinity. heads up, vicky!

    amen.
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