17.1.13 / a student’s nightmare

so, school started on monday.


i was so nervous for school the night before that i had butterflies in my tummy. only because it’s a brand new start for me. i didn’t have anyone i know in class, no friends, no familiar faces. its always interesting to have a fresh new start because it only means you meet new people and hopefully, my grades will take a better turn too!

however the bad part of it is when the lecturer says “ok you need to form teams and get into discussion for your assignment” …… errrrr LONER IS ME. sigh. and and and what makes it even worst for me was when the lecturer tries to get to know some of his student and it happens to be me! so the whole lecture, i was praying hard he wouldn’t call me but it always end up in a reversal situation (and maybe my name is so easy to remember cos’ its a name of a state in his country) and i’d stiff up cos’ i don’t know the answer. oh boy. so scary to be feeling this familiar situation in university when it happens alot only in primary/secondary school.

i had double lectures each day and no friends in each class. you can’t imagine how much i hate it when the lecturer says “get into your groups and discuss” and once, he said, “oh victoria, you can’t be doing it by yourself..” ………… awkz.

so tuesday came, i told myself i better pluck up some courage or kill some ego to get a team mate. the whole 3 hours of the lecture, i couldn’t think about anything else other than coming up with what to say and how am i gonna approach my targets. and it was ironic when i was thinking of how to do it, i would look at the person and imagine what i’d say and suddenly my thought bubble burst when he turned behind and looked at me straight in my eye. second awkward moment.

so i failed at break. i was approached by others, but i didn’t feel comfortable being “teamies” so i rejected. by the end of lecture, i wanted to cry for being a failure. JUST ASK, VIC. how hard can it be…. so i sat in class, waiting for everyone to leave and true enough, everyone left but me and that group. so i stood up, pack up and instead of leaving class, i walked to them and i can’t remember what exactly happen.

maybe i said, “hi, do you have space in your team? can i join?”

and that’s the beginning of a new friendship with 5 other people. yay yay yay. you cannot understand the fat joy i was feeling after i spoke to them ^^ so happy i’m puking rainbows (just saying)

the third day, wednesday came and it was nice when my new friend came to ask me if i wanna grab smth to eat tgt during break. one of my happiest moment in school so far.

haha i don’t know why i was such a coward. HEH HEH.



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