07.03.13 / my version of “I miss you already”

i’m lousy. only week 1 and a few days ago since he sailed. i am trying a new technique for this round of sailing. not sure if it works but just maybe. hopefully it makes time pass faster. i’m gonna (1) keep myself busy — hence, i created a blogshop and i’ve been in school/home watching movies. (2) avoid thinking about W. the latter one seems rly hard. idk why he always pop out in my mind… like “oh we used to do this tgt… oh we came here before… you brought me here… we said this…” aiyah. but the first one, it works effectively! for this whole week, i’ve been on the computer from morning till night and realized, omg it’s dinner time already? so fast. but one thing i hate abt it is i’ve to sacrifice my perfect eyesight. my eyes are exhausted from all these.

so here goes my version of “I miss you already”

x

i miss you when i see myself, i think about you.

i miss you already when we hugged goodbye at your ship when we saw you off just before you sailed. i already miss you when i was on the way in your dad’s car to meet you at your ship to see you off. i miss you already when you were packing your last minute clothes on that morning and how i wished you could pack me inside too. i miss you so much when the alarm rang that morning and we both overslept cos’ we didn’t hear it. i miss you when you were hugging me to sleep for the last time in the next two months.

i miss you already when you snored beside me, knowing i’m gonna miss that melody for some time. i miss you when you said “goodnight, baby. i love you” the night before we slept. i miss you when you said “good morning” on the day you were gonna sail. i miss you when i was looking at you sleep the night before while i was preparing my goodbye surprise gifts for you to bring along. i miss you already when you held my hand the day before when we were running errands. i miss you the moment your fingers got entangled with mine.

an interesting photo when we were just friends. already entertaining me.

i miss you already when you watched your favourite chinese movies on tv and laughed so loud like it was the funniest thing on earth. i miss you when you were eating your noodles and slurping so loud and turned to me and say “this is how you should eat noodles. you know what is this? this is SHIOK.” i miss you already when you imitate me in my whiny voice. i miss you when you eat chicken rice and burps in the car.

i miss you whenever i always ask you to smile this cute smile for me. it’s my favourite.

i miss you whenever i kiss you goodbye and hug you before you go sailing in the mornings. i miss you when you make the effort to learn KJK’s songs and dance moves just because he’s my all-time idol. i miss you already when you even bought tickets for us to go for his concert and a personal photo pass for me. i miss you when you turn sour and jelly whenever i talk about KJK. i miss you when you try to irritate me with your little teasing.

our very VERY first photo together in our lives as friends.

perhaps this is more relevant and often, i miss you when i leave your house in the morning and take the lift down, 14th floor, when i hit 9th floor, i already miss you. i miss you when i smell you, your pillow you left for me at home, your perfume… i miss you when i can’t smell you, something is missing. i miss you when you let me wear the baggy sweat shirt which you always complain to me its your normal shirt and i’m using it as my pullover. i miss you in the mornings whenever i switch from my memory foam pillow to your pillow which i call it my ‘morning pillow’.

our very awkward photo when we were unsure whether it was gna be smth new?

i miss you when you surprise me with breakfast in bed. i miss you when you cook for me love meals. i miss you when you say you don’t know how to surprise but does it best in your own perfect ways. i miss you when you remember what turns me off and upsets me. i miss you already when you got my best interest in your heart. i miss you when you go the distance to fetch me from work because i was unwell with cramps. i miss you when you do everything to try to take away the pain. i miss you already when you tell me your day at work, what you did and what happened, what you ate, how many dolphins you saw.. i miss you when you said you had to see me even if it was just a few hours.

i miss you when you were just trying to help me tie my life jacket, you were my life jacket.

i miss you already when you try to teach me swimming but i end up crying and complaining you don’t understand. i miss you when you always give in to me even when it shouldn’t be that way. i miss you for tolerating my childish habits and my smelly temper. i miss you already when you sacrificed and quit …… just for me because i never liked my partner to do it. i miss you when we sleep in our own parents’ house on the night before chinese new year. i miss you already when i sleep at home while you sail. i miss you even more when i’m asleep alone on our big big bed at your place but you’re not around, away for sailing.

our secret “official” date for halloween at night safari

i miss you when you’re such a hyperactive monkey. i miss you when you’re so funny and entertaining. i miss you when you’re so different towards me, how gentle you can be it’s an honour. i miss you already when you follow me wherever i go. i miss you already when you are willing to watch running man with me for the first time, i was so happy. i miss you when i secretly (purposely) left running man on while i went to bathe to see if you will watch it when i finished bathing, and you really did. i miss you already when you asked me download rm videos in your itouch while you sail. i miss you when you try to like the things i like, just so you can relate to me. i miss you when you try to eat like me, or at least be understanding about what i don’t like to eat. i miss you when you always seek my opinion before others or even your own.

i miss you when you always sing to me songs for me to record and listen to while you are sailing. i miss you when your voice is so soothing, it melts my heart whenever i hear you sing. i miss you already when i try to video you and capture every of your reaction, expression and voice because i know i’m gonna miss you so much and i miss you already then. i miss you when you hug me and say nothing. i miss you already when you brush your fingers through my straight hair (then). i miss you when you say you like my new curly hair in pony tail, even though i rly hate it. i miss you when you say i’m prettier and girlier because i met you. i miss you already when you said i’ve got the best deal in the world. i miss you when we play wrestling/martial arts in the bedroom and i act injured to finally try to take revenge on you and you never give me chance to win. i miss you for treating me like your best brother friend. i miss you for tolerating my bad wardrobe habits. i miss you for correcting my bad tissue habits.

i miss you looking at me this way, the times when we were hittin’ off but weren’t admitting it.

i miss you when you smell so good. i miss you even when you smell bad but surprisingly, you don’t smell like any other smelly guys. i miss you already when you tell me i smelly good when i know i smell like a MAN after rugby games. i miss you when you let me sit in your car despite my sweat and dirt. i miss you when you can wake up and look at me telling me i’m still the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. i miss you when you wake up and tell me “babyyy!! wake up!!!! lets go!!! it’s our day!! we can’t be lateeeee!!!” i miss you when you try to rush me in the military way and it falls to deaf ears. i miss you when you give up nagging at me but help me pack my mess without complaining a word, and at the end, with a contented smile, you say “baby, see? can you promise me you keep things like that next time?” i miss you already when i try to disturb you and get your attention when you’re in an intense game on your PSP. i miss you when you will pause your game just to give me the attention or to give in to my disturbance and smile and say “yes baby?” and i reply “nothing! continue playing!”

i miss you and your funny looking toes. i miss you when i say your toes look ridiculously funny and incomplete. i miss you when i can’t stop laughing at your toes, even though i laugh alone and you just watch tv. i miss you when i make fun of your fingers, they look as hilarious as your funny toes. i miss you when you laugh at my toes and say they look like peanuts you eat during chinese new year. i miss you when you congratulate me because i had toe nails, just because they keep falling off during rugby games. i miss you when you say you love my long fingers, slender lady fingers. i miss you when you would drive all the way to wherever i am at 12am just to pick me up and send me back home when i study out too late. i miss you when you always force me to shop and buy more things for myself when we are overseas. i miss you when you talk to me gently about things that i might get upset about.

i miss you when you’re right next to me. i miss you when you’re driving us around. i miss you when i’ll hug you from behind like a koala bear hugging a tree and fall asleep in that position until morning, when you find out you’re about to fall off the bed because i squeezed to to the corner throughout the night. i miss you when you force me to watch chinese movies with you on the couch and i end up snoozing on your lap. i miss you when you’re clearly thinking about something but you can’t express it out to me. i miss you when i make us have HTHT and you say there’s nothing to say. i miss you when i try to force you to tell me every little details and you find me a hassle but i don’t care. i miss you when you buy me my favourite yogurt, raisins, nuts and cereal to make me happy. i miss you when you always support me when i’m studying hard and remind me to work hard for our happy future.

i miss you, everything about you.

there is too much to say for now.

and i broke the (2) rule for myself, cos’ i’m thinking about you.

smiling when i was typing all that, but now the thought of you makes me wanna cry.

how can it be 1 week only?! i miss you, i miss your face, i miss your skin, i miss your voice.

i miss you.

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