19.3.13 / mind games

the past 4 days was easy to get along with, because W docked at Vietnam and he had reception. so it means, we can actually text and call each other. i think when there is communication, it makes the wait so much more easier!

although we don’t text often because it is expensive, it is really nice to know that he will be able to read my texts so i usually talk more since its free for me to send text messages out. W is doing good at vietnam, though a lot of his ship crew fell sick from Myanmar due to food poisoning. i hope they are fine now but W is strong. he has a stomach made of steel! 😀 he also did shopping, but owning the “best boyfriend in the universe” award, he did shopping for me and himself! i told him not to get anything for me, because my mom is already having a hard time containing my junk and not-junk at home. my dog hardly got space to sleep in my room since i brought back my container of clothes and bags and shoes. so i worry. but he’s awesome. which boyfriend knows how to shop for his girlfriend? actually, W is better at shopping compared to me. i don’t have stamina for it. i usually end up sitting down, waiting for W to shop and walk while i sit and stone and nod my head to the things he shows me. 

tonight is his last night at Vietnam and i’m pretty much dreading the following 8 days before he reaches Shanghai. it only means 8 more lonely days, i talk to myself, i talk to myself. but i’m excited about it too (mixed feelings) because it also means he is coming back soon when he reaches Shanghai. time flies when we don’t want it to, aka exams coming. but time stays still when we wished it flew faster aka W sailing for 6 weeks feels like 6 months. 

whatever it is, it sure was a good experience. i had many self-reflection and self-realisation moments. thoughts about what is actually right and what could have been done was part of my thinking process these 3 weeks so far. absence makes the heart grows fonder – this phrase never grow old. it is very true and i can imagine how excited i feel on the night of 8th april when it will be the last night i’ll be alone (: can’t wait!

 

i’ve got friends who asked me what have i been doing with my life – my answer is: a lot.

 

simply because i’m the kind of person who hates doing nothing(!!!) i really h8 h8 h8 the feeling of idle-sation. it is a waste of time and a second in my life shouldn’t be wasted like that! (chilling on the couch watching tv or computer isn’t idle-sation)

so i was looking through my organizer and i realized how successfully occupied i was.

1. first two weeks was successfully occupied designing my online store’s webpage – http://www.shopjellybeenie.com and facebook too.

2. i occupied myself with school every Monday and Wednesdays.

3. i joined Summer Touch League on Saturdays to tire myself out and keep my brain working and a little exercise to shoo those flabs away!

4. kept myself occupied with many many odd jobs – coaching on thursdays, dhsunglass on any other day, starting my new personal assistant job this sunday and taking up a new rollerblading class at gardens by the bay every sunday. 

when i was just telling my good friend at work about the stuff i’ve been doing the past 3 weeks and i ended with “aiyah, i really do nothing with my life… i’m too free!” she was shocked and said, “eh vic, you don’t free at all….. think about it, you’re actually doing SO MANY THINGS already!” 

so yea, maybe she is right. but maybe it isn’t enough? because i still have time to think why am i so boring and free. and you know what…. THIS is the life (luxury) of a student. i better appreciate it and treasure it while it last. uh huh.

i’m in a thought-war by positively motivating myself every morning… i don’t ever wanna enter the ’emo-sad-i-miss-my-boyfriend’ state cos’ i know when i enter that, it’s hard to save me. haha so nope. i do miss him but i’m more focused on the end-point; 9th april ay!

3 more weeks! i’m half way fighting this lonely war. but it’s alright. i’ve learnt so much more on this adventure alone and i can’t wait to do even more when W is back. 

goodnight for now, i’m gonna squeeze out some muscles for gym tomorrow and vomit project work after that.

x

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