4.4.13 / “Close your eyes and I’ll kiss you, Tomorrow I’ll miss you.”

a photo taken yesterday at work.

ok i’ve to admit, i like how my face glows in this photo and how my eyes look so oriental (lurve oriental eyes, who says asians aren’t attractive HUH!) trust me, it’s just this photo -.- it must be the lighting from the window behind me or maybe i was just glowing that day. i get a shock when i look at the mirror :O “why is it different!!!!” hahaha! i guess many men are agreeing the moment they read this. ya ya, okay you may go ahead and say all you want about how girls look so different but i feel it isn’t wrong for them to make an effort to look good. of course, i prefer natural… but i guess its everyone’s own decision to how they want to look. for me, i’m pretty hooked with my eyeliner ^^ can’t rly live without them. well, i can… but i feel so insecure when i’m not wearing eyeliner exxxxcept on r u g b y days or when i’m coaching or doing any s p o r t s or outdoor activities. having said this, i feel like it’s all in my mind. a strange psychological battle. { g i r l s }

i wanna share with you guys my joy. my l i t t l e tiny joy. i finally managed to break the sleeping spell of 4am last night, although it’s still late but its an improvement. i slept at 2am yesterday and although i woke up tired, i was happy at the thought i slept earlier than the past few weeks. just checked the calendar ANDDDDDDD GUESS WHAT?!?!?!?!!! MY POLAR BEAR IS COMING HOME IN 5 DAYS!!!! 

rly rlyyyy xxcited because i missed him a lot and my life has changed quite abit since he went away. i must say, the first 3 weeks SUCKED SO BADLY for me. i find myself tearing sometimes at night because loneliness crept and i couldn’t sleep. i also found out new things about myself!

1. i’m a workaholic if i’m single

2. i eat three x more when i’m alone

3. i pamper myself more in whtever i do

4. i think about money alot more

5. i don’t go out often, i go home immediately after whatever i’ve to do,
=work or school then home.

those five things re amazing discovery gusyyys. because W and i are tgt almost everyday when he don’t have to sail or do duty overnight, it’s hard to make any self-realisation. ok the ‘vicky’ with W around is this;

1. i rather be at home chillin’ out, waiting for W to come home

2. i eat three x LESSER cos’ when i see W eat, i feel as if i’m the one eating.
= as long as i see tt he is well fed, i feel that i am too, without the hand movement of eating.

3. i pamper him in whtever i do, he is in my thoughts & considerations

4. i think about time more often.
= time > money

5. i wanna go out after school or work with W. go out go out go out!

….

you see the drastic change? i don’t know which one is a better me… but i’m rly thankful for these 6 weeks that made me realize this about me. another confession about the girl who dates a sailor, at the beginning when we first got tgt, i wasn’t used to having him away and uncontactable. it kinda leaves me ‘alone’ and like a suddenly abandoned, nobody-to-talk-to feeling. then i will usually ring up all my friends to meet on the days he is sailing or havin duty, spam whatsapp, sms, call…. whatever just to get some company. i was pretty needy then.

but now, it’s different after i realized it. the first week i wasn’t rly settled, so i tried to make as much plans as possible but i found out it was kinda tiring. why do i have to keep up with this constant attention and company? i should be fine by myself! besides, i h8 relying on others… so from week 2 onwards, when i check my past notes in my organizer, *g o o d  j o b  v i c k y!!! :} i didn’t call anyone when i feel i need someone, i only met up with my close friends who doesn’t need a reason to have a meal tgt. other than that, guess who was my healthy substitute? WORK.

haha i work every other day when i got no school. now that W is coming back and i told him what ive been up to when he was away, i think he was pretty overwhelmed by it. dhsunglass, write for sunglass, ah jun apparel shop, my own shop.jellybeenie blogshop, rugby coaching, rollerblade coaching and on top of that, i even went to send out my portfolio and resume for other magazines to write for. geez. idk man, but it got pretty addictive and when i’m alone having nobody else to rly meet up everyday and nothing else to do, i enjoy keeping myself busy. i h8 to idle around, it makes me feel like my time is wasted.

however, it got to a point last weekend, that i got RLY RLYYYY exxhausted. it was due to my lack of sleep, my sleepless night everyday + early mornings. i had only 4 hours of sleep everyday and i started to feel the fatigue. then mood swings came, bad complexion too and i was v grumpy. i wondered why, until i spoke t a friend recently. he asked me why do i sound so tired? i said, i dont know. you mean even a special text message can sound tiring? haha. i told him what i’ve been doing and facing and he told me, he know how it feels because he went through that a year ago during exams. it is when your body and brain is so used to working the whole day, when it is time to sleep, your body feels tired but your mind activity doesn’t stop. it is like a machine, it just keeps going and going… and going. no “stop” button. like a bicycle, when you keep paddling hard, the wheels keep going. that’s me now.

but i’m rly glad for a little small improvement ytd. i hope for a better night tonight. having done all my projects, tomorrow is submission and tada, it’s not the end -.- it’s time for a month of EXAM WOES. cries……

but all’s good. i love my life now. but i love my other life shared with W even more. so even when he is away, i wouldn’t feel so sad and lonely anymore. (counterattack!!*hiak!!)

i hope all my readers & friends enjoyed my little sharing about my life. hang in there if you’re as tired as me! it’s TGIF 😀 it’s a special tgif for me because i’m finally heading out for some drinks at alleybar/acid bar with my close friends + my swedish cousin who just arrived in singapore for a short visit. lookin’ forward!

lots of love, sweet dreams errrrbody :*)

photo share now

xx

my previous angel, sarah. taken at baby charlotte’s 1st birthday

the two big princess, sarah and gretal. spent the whole night playing with them ^^

preview of the cake 😛 this is indeed a true princess cake. sigh, i wished i had them when i was young. no worries, i’ll get them for my daughter next time 😉

more cakes!

ok this baby party is for another blog entry after i receive photos for the night.

i like my shirt and my skirt (it’s actually a dress). these are some sneak preview for my {p r e m i  u m} collection for my blogshop. but they are special, you can go down to 69A haji lane and try them on and purchase there too by mentioning shop.jellybeenie ^^ yeap it’s a shop, but because they are premium, the price is alot more expensive too.

/

advertorial; shop.jellybeenie.com

WHAT’S NEW

Basic cotton dress / light & { c o m f y }

a *m u s t* have in every girl’s wardrobe!

i think a few of you saw me wearing this skirt before. i’ll post photos of myself wearing it if you’d like.

beach dress ^^ yellow in stock!!

INSTOCK

http://www.shopjellybeenie.com

that’s all for now. ANDDDD one more thing, i’d rly appreciate SOOOO much if you can help me like my page on facebook – https://www.facebook.com/pages/Shopjellybeenie/593808063980474

no harm right 😉 thank you a million if you did! *kisses*

goodnight now x

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