26.10.13 / it’s just the beginning

… the end of something, is just the beginning of another.

IT’S THE END OF MY EXAMS (whoopwhoop!!!) – nobody will ever understand the exploding happiness i have inside me. it feels so good.. to sleep in to late mornings, waking up and lying in bed just thinking “what should i do today? what’s for lunch and dinner?” and not rushing out of bed. and the day gets slower, thinking to yourself “hmm this movie is over, should i watch the next series? should i learn how to cook something new?” mmm, spells perfect for me 😉 and i’m gonna make it happen for the next month or so. NOBODY CAN STOP ME, LET ME BE! 

i’m sleep-deprived, brain-tired and work-tired. i just wanna be a sloth. a couch potato (who gyms and lifts). the past month has been a nightmare :/ it has been an extremely hard struggle for me this year ever since june. i’ve never partied so hard in my 23 years and this year, it’s just cray cray. i took quite some time to adjust back to school and when it was a month for study break, i dread every morning when i wake. setting alarm at 9am, snoozing till 930am and forcing myself to bolt out in anxiety to rush to wash up before i invite myself to the study table for the rest of the day till 5pm when i would prepare my steamboat soup for my table-4-1 or two sometimes. i would prepare dinner for cody, my dog and take a quick 15 min dinner before i drag my legs back to my white table with my white lamp. *shivers* (just talking about it now gives me jitters… the only phobia a student have) sometimes i feel so caged up, i break down. every semester that i’ve been studying in university, i never fail to break down and cry. haha. such a girl, but yes, i’m not a tough worker. crying makes me feel relieved.

and this routine repeats for the next 30 days. i feel so damn guilty when i take a 1 hour break to watch my favourite tv series. i never treasure and miss my couch time so much… i even stopped using the computer just so i don’t ‘spoil’ myself. what’s worst, i miss my mom the most! she’s gone on a 1 month holiday to sydney leaving this big house (or mess) to me. the men in my house ain’t any help (i don’t ask them to help but i wished they stop being destroyers) so i’ve been stuck living my mom’s life (i finally understand how it pretty much sucks). never washed so much dishes in my life, never mop/clean the house so much 2x a day and preparing or learning how to use the stove. big achievement there (!) eh, i worry about my future house. i’m staying in an executive apartment now (6-room) and when i’m doing the house chores, mamamia this house seems to feel like it multiplies whenever i’m cleaning. sometimes i ask myself “am i staying in a palace?!!?!! why is it NEVER ENDING!!!” horririglevegetable. mom’s back in 6 days (Hallelujah!) but then again, why must my mom suffer so much in this cave?

anyways, ima free bird now. nobody can explain how much freedom i feel now. i’m no longer bonded and caged up by education. but then again, some say, “your heaven just ended, your nightmare has just began. welcome to hell!” 😦 i dread to work. the working society is a monster, everyone just wants to eat you or step on you to get on top. i’m very very unsure about my future, like any other fresh graduate. the comfort of studying is knowing the school has planned your future semesters and you just need to enroll and attend classes and take exams. easy peasy. work, nobody seems to be there for you. you’re out there alone, dodging bullets from the work-eaters. dread. trust no one! everyone has a motive out there, if they are nice.

but whatever it is, it’s 2 days since my exams ended. not sure the outcome of it, but not gonna think about it since it’s over. i’ve been enjoying my life to the fullest ever since. i’m prolly the first few students among the people in my course to be enjoying life now. majority of the students end their last paper next tuesday hehe i’m lucky. but i didn’t appreciate my back-to-back papers. i rather a prolonged torture. at least i get to breathe.

will update again with happy photos 😉 can’t wait to share my joy.

hope everything’s good for everyone. for the rest of the people having exams, hang in there! you’ll breathe the air i breathe, soon!

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